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Babies. Weddings. Babies. Weddings.

For those of you that don't know, I am a new mother and an even newer wife! 2015 has yet to disappoint - so many blessings! I have been wanting to write a blog ever since we welcomed our new baby into this world, but time has really gotten away from me because that baby is now 4 months old! Time sure does fly...

Again for those of you who didn't know. We didn't know the sex of our baby until the very moment HE came into the world. I knew I was carrying a boy, I didn't have a doubt in my mind. After 30 hours of being in induced labor, we finally welcomed our little Maxwell Dwight into the world at 11:39PM on Friday. Honestly, I expected to see this gunk covered, wrinkly, tiny human, but he was so much cuter than I thought - he was the most beautiful tiny human I had ever laid my eyes on. Through your pregnancy you will find that people tell you how it's going to be or their experiences, so that's all you have to go off of especially if you're a first time mom like myself. BUT, it's really nothing like that. I really think everyone has a different experience. I immediately loved him, a feeling that can't be explained but I didn't have this super amazing connection that everyone talks about. Breastfeeding was a bust, so we didn't connect that way. It took me a few days, maybe even close to a couple weeks to really bond with him and get to know him and he got to know me. He is 4 months old now and I now have this super amazing connection with him. I've done good things in my life, but he is the best thing I have ever done hands down. I'm a sap and I'm crying just thinking about it. Anyway, if you've met him, you know how awesome this little boy is.

People tell you that raising a baby is hard, you lose sleep, etc. I don't know if I would describe it as hard all the way around, but it has it's moments. I struggled with sleep, I still struggle with sleep I think you sign up for that for the rest of your life when you come pregnant. The first week I struggled when he would cry I would cry because I just felt like as his mom I should have been able to figure it out, but I just had to give it time and soon I figured out what this tiny human was all about. I had very few people tell me that it's okay to ask for help, that you're not super mom, you're going to be exhausted and you can't do it all, even if you have your spouse you are going to have your days where you feel completely defeated. I have had SO much help and I am so thankful. He has stayed over night with a select few people multiple times and I think each time he's gone I cry. I am not the type of person to ask for help. I cry because I miss him, I cry because I think he misses me, and I cry because I do think I should be able to do it all even though I can't. Just get ready because becoming a mother comes with a lot of emotion. Like I said, he's the best thing I've done with my life. Every single thing he learns melts my heart and if you're a mother, you understand that. I remember the first time he made his first little baby noise I cried. When he started kicking his legs I cried. The first time he laughed I cried. And the list goes on. Dads, I know you are happy about your babies, too, but it's different I THINK. I have my moments when he fussing and I don't know why because well, babies don't talk and I get frustrated, but then I have to take a moment to realize that this time will pass - one of these days will be the last time I hold my little baby while he's fussing and that's truly heartbreaking. Not that I want my baby to fuss, but you know what I mean. If you're a good parent, you want to give your child the world and okay, you obviously can't give them the entire world or turn them into a spoiled brat, but you will do anything to fulfill their needs and wants  (to an extent). Becoming a mother has been the greatest gift and I'm roughly 14 months into the gig (yes, I count my pregnancy)... I am excited for the rest of the journey : )

Oh, I also got married April 15th! To my baby daddy and my best friend :) It was a court house wedding with our closest family and friends that could attend and I am so thankful we did it that way with no fuss. It was quick, simple, to the point and cost effective ;) Afterward we went to the Oasis to eat some good ole bar food! Haha

Anyway, I hope to be able to stay on top of this writing gig a little better to update about my life, as though anyone cares , about being a first time mom and a new wife and things : )

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