It has been a little over two months since I have written a blog and I am not sure why. Maybe because time got away from me or something. Anyway, I feel like writing one today, so that is what I shall do.
Recently (almost a week ago), my (ex)boyfriend decided that he wanted to end our relationship. He said that his feelings for me had changed and that it was time to call it quits. Of course it killed me, but being the logical girl that I am, I did not argue with his decision because I do not want to be with someone that does not want to be with me. That being said, a couple days later, I tried talking to him to see if we could work things out and that was not going to happen. I am not angry with him for this because he was honest with me and he was nothing but a good friend and I love his family. I have a lot of respect for the whole bunch! Not only that, but we are trying to end this on good terms...
Onto the emotional side of the whole ordeal...
I am not the kind of person that likes to sit around and feel shitty, but I know that I need my time to feel shitty while at the same time not blocking people out of my life and forcing myself to get up and do things. I think I have cried just about everyday since the day it happened, sometimes a lot and sometimes a little, but it is a part of the healing process. I haven't been able to eat decent since it happened and my way of looking at that is: well, hell, this could be the best weight loss trick in the book. However, I do not recommend using heart break as a weight loss plan. Ladies and gents, if you have some pounds to shed, do NOT go out looking for love only to end it to shed a few. It is no fun. We were together for four years, so the initial reaction is: "Fuck, this really sucks and my heart hurts.", Then you start to think of being alone and let me tell you, that is the worst part. "Could I be alone for the rest of my life? Was this my only shot?" So on and so forth. I'm only 22, so I am still pretty young with a lot to look forward to in life! I just have to let me realistic self shine through and concur my irrational feelings. Then.... you have the thoughts of knowing how much you miss that person, even if it has only been a day since the break-up, you miss that person like hell, but you have to fight each and every urge not to speak with them. It really needs to remain strictly business, and that is yet another part that sucks. I know that this is going to be a roller coaster ride for the next few weeks or maybe even months. The best way to look at all of this is that there is a reason for everything and if you are meant to be a with a person you will.
Now, I am sick of talking about it and I want to finish some homework before work! Good day to you all!
Recently (almost a week ago), my (ex)boyfriend decided that he wanted to end our relationship. He said that his feelings for me had changed and that it was time to call it quits. Of course it killed me, but being the logical girl that I am, I did not argue with his decision because I do not want to be with someone that does not want to be with me. That being said, a couple days later, I tried talking to him to see if we could work things out and that was not going to happen. I am not angry with him for this because he was honest with me and he was nothing but a good friend and I love his family. I have a lot of respect for the whole bunch! Not only that, but we are trying to end this on good terms...
Onto the emotional side of the whole ordeal...
I am not the kind of person that likes to sit around and feel shitty, but I know that I need my time to feel shitty while at the same time not blocking people out of my life and forcing myself to get up and do things. I think I have cried just about everyday since the day it happened, sometimes a lot and sometimes a little, but it is a part of the healing process. I haven't been able to eat decent since it happened and my way of looking at that is: well, hell, this could be the best weight loss trick in the book. However, I do not recommend using heart break as a weight loss plan. Ladies and gents, if you have some pounds to shed, do NOT go out looking for love only to end it to shed a few. It is no fun. We were together for four years, so the initial reaction is: "Fuck, this really sucks and my heart hurts.", Then you start to think of being alone and let me tell you, that is the worst part. "Could I be alone for the rest of my life? Was this my only shot?" So on and so forth. I'm only 22, so I am still pretty young with a lot to look forward to in life! I just have to let me realistic self shine through and concur my irrational feelings. Then.... you have the thoughts of knowing how much you miss that person, even if it has only been a day since the break-up, you miss that person like hell, but you have to fight each and every urge not to speak with them. It really needs to remain strictly business, and that is yet another part that sucks. I know that this is going to be a roller coaster ride for the next few weeks or maybe even months. The best way to look at all of this is that there is a reason for everything and if you are meant to be a with a person you will.
Now, I am sick of talking about it and I want to finish some homework before work! Good day to you all!
Comments
Post a Comment