I don't know who reads my blog and nor do I care. I have never been one to care much what other people have thought of me, anyway, but at this juncture in my life, I really don't care. Little things have been going on lately that are really getting under my skin and it had me thinking that in all the things that I have done in my short 22 years of life, I do not regret a thing - not a damned thing. Not even the times I should have walked away from different people in my life and to stop giving out 2nd and 8th chances. I managed to stay in a relationship with a guy who lived overseas for 5 years and it was not ideal at all, but I do not regret it. I dropped out of college because I didn't think I could handle it and had I stayed in, I would be graduated by now versus not even yet having my associates, but alas, I do not regret the decision I made to quit. Not to toot my own horn, but why can't more people be like that? Why can't people grab life and their decisions by the balls and say, "I did this and that's who the hell I am!", or something like that. If happy memories were made, why try to cast a dark shadow over those memories and make it any less than what it was? I believe that is only bringing yourself down and basically, living a lie. Yes, that may sound a little dramatic, but that's the bigger picture.
See, I had this idea and I had myself believing that my last relationship was perfect and he was in fact, the perfect guy for me. Once I started being honest with myself is when I started to feel better about losing him and realizing he probably isn't the perfect guy for me. Because: the perfect guy is going to be faithful and I will never have to worry. I gave out one too many chances and in the end, it did not benefit me. However, it was not a waste of my time and I do not regret giving him those chances. I look back on photos and memories and do nothing but smile because that is how simple it is. Just because something has ended or is bringing you heartache, does not mean that it's all bad. I wish some people would realize that. I embrace my past and decisions because that is who I am - 110%. The laughs, the tears, the smiles; everything, I am so glad for. Sure, you may end up choosing a different path, but how can you justify denying or shaming the path you took to get you where you are? You just can't. Of course, I guess there are those people that can think nothing of the past and simply walk away from it, but I think those people are consumed with a little bit of guilt.
ANYWAY
I'm sorry to bring you down with all of this mumbo jumbo about life things, but people just get under my skin sometimes, so things need to be said. I worked all day and now I am getting ready to go give a dog a hair cut, which I must say is one of my very least favorite things to do. YACK! HOWEVER! In less than 2 days I will be on my way to New York City with my grandpa and one of my very best friends :) Hobos, taxis, Times Square, Central Park, Lady Liberty, museums... I cannot wait for all of the hussle and bussle. It has been calling my name for the past 2 months! Anyway, ya'll have a good day <3
See, I had this idea and I had myself believing that my last relationship was perfect and he was in fact, the perfect guy for me. Once I started being honest with myself is when I started to feel better about losing him and realizing he probably isn't the perfect guy for me. Because: the perfect guy is going to be faithful and I will never have to worry. I gave out one too many chances and in the end, it did not benefit me. However, it was not a waste of my time and I do not regret giving him those chances. I look back on photos and memories and do nothing but smile because that is how simple it is. Just because something has ended or is bringing you heartache, does not mean that it's all bad. I wish some people would realize that. I embrace my past and decisions because that is who I am - 110%. The laughs, the tears, the smiles; everything, I am so glad for. Sure, you may end up choosing a different path, but how can you justify denying or shaming the path you took to get you where you are? You just can't. Of course, I guess there are those people that can think nothing of the past and simply walk away from it, but I think those people are consumed with a little bit of guilt.
ANYWAY
I'm sorry to bring you down with all of this mumbo jumbo about life things, but people just get under my skin sometimes, so things need to be said. I worked all day and now I am getting ready to go give a dog a hair cut, which I must say is one of my very least favorite things to do. YACK! HOWEVER! In less than 2 days I will be on my way to New York City with my grandpa and one of my very best friends :) Hobos, taxis, Times Square, Central Park, Lady Liberty, museums... I cannot wait for all of the hussle and bussle. It has been calling my name for the past 2 months! Anyway, ya'll have a good day <3
Comments
Post a Comment