I've spent my morning talking to one of my best friends and it's been semi-decent serious talking times, so I thought... "Hey, this may be blog material."
Anyway, we were talking about settling in a relationship. It is not something that I look down on because it is so common and it happens without even realizing that you are doing it. For me, personally, that is what I did in my previous relationship. I gave my all and was willing to give even more to someone who was only meeting me half way. I was very aware of what was happening, but I would butter it up and then forget about it until something happened again. Do not get me wrong, we had this great friendship - we were best friends an we were the couple that people liked being around, but behind closed doors, the relationship aspect of it all was sort of... toxic. Again, do not get me wrong, had he never ended it, I would still be with him, but I was never strong enough to end it when I should have; I was settling. He was also settling until he realized that I wasn't it for him and it wasn't worth it anymore. I was not worth his time. Our chapter was over and he managed to find someone that makes him happy and honestly, that is wonderful. A lot of people do not understand why I cannot be angry with him and it is no longer because I am hopeful of having him back, it is because he gave me something that I could not give myself; an eye opener. I will be forever thankful to him for breaking my heart. Sounds a little odd, huh? But, that's the way I see it.
A friend and I were talking about how we were in high school and how our relationship confidence level was zero. Honestly, we were happy when a boy showed interest. I don't really care how pathetic that sounds, it's true. Now that we have stepped out into the real world with various experiences, I think we all know what we want and what we deserve. What do you think? I mean, should you gather pieces here and there and create your own Frankenstein? To find someone that is perfect for you? See, what happens when you do that is you take the risk of ending up alone, right? I don't know. In the moment when you meet someone and they make you feel like you're on top of the world, you think you have exactly what you want, but I also think you have a feeling in your gut whether it is the right or wrong thing and you cannot be afraid to jump in. This is your life and it is the only one you will ever get. I recently made the decision that anything that has the potential of making you happy is worth the risk. Yes, heart ache is terrifying, but heart ache fades. You pick up the pieces and you move on. Love is wonderful. If you have been there, you know. If you have seen it in the movies, you want it.
I was talking to a friend of mine about my current "relationship in progress" and how that I know I could love this boy. It's only been a month, but I know it's worth my time. Within our talk, we decided that love is situational. It is not about the amount of time you have known someone. It is about how that person makes you feel and living in that moment. If a person makes you feel wonderful - you love that feeling - go with it. Be happy. The people that judge are probably bitter. I have been severely burned and I am not bitter. Happiness is special. If you have happiness, hold on tight to that and fight for it. As Carrie Bradshaw says in Sex and the City, "It's not logic, it's love". I have let this guy into my world - my life - and he may not be perfect, but so far he is perfect for my life; for me. "I wanna show you off. I wanna make sure that everyone knows you're with me." That is simple and fantastic. He is interested in how my day is going. He makes me laugh. When I write, he wants to read it. He kisses me on the forehead. There are many things he does that make my heart smile.
Maybe I have just said things people are too afraid to say out loud. I don't know.
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