Mona Lisa smiles...

I feel like I have so much to write about this morning, but you just watch, once I start writing, it will be "blah". Let's hope not.

FLASHBACK! 

September 29, 2012

-This day was easily one of the best days. I worked all day, so I made that $$. Then, I come home to find a piece of mail from the hospital telling me that my bill for my bicycle injuries was 100% wrote off with the charity care. That evening was the concert. What concert you ask? The free All-American Rejects concert! It was put on my Charter Communications at Soldier Memorial for the Taste of St. Louis and it was absolutely wonderful. We got there like 2.5 hours early, so obviously we (My brother and his friends) managed to get a spot right at the front of the stage (it was standing). The show was already amazing, then Tyson (lead singer) decided to come into the crowd and slowly, he made his way to where we were standing... THEN, he sat right next to me and sang the song "Mona Lisa", which just happens to be one of my all time favorite slower songs by them. He was completely sweaty and smelled like an arm pit, but it was easily one of the best moments in my life. I feel as though Sept. 29, 2012 was full of awesome. 

More present day...

-I have been so busy with EVERYTHING that it is going to be hard to write this part. First of all I want to say that Taylor Swift has all of these singles coming out and that has been my music of choice for the past couple of weeks. She is wonderful and so are her songs <3 I have went to Six Flags, spent an evening/night with my bestie in her new apartment, taken fall photos, went on a date, work, Zumba, and homework. I have managed to stay busy and I love it that way. In this particular blog I want to focus more on the date thing... (no offense friends). Anyway...

The datage. It is fun and terrifying at the same time and I am going to try my best to explain these things and my perception of them. It has been 3 months or so since my break up and dating/meeting people takes my mind off of what happened, etc.; it may be one of the best medicines honestly. Then, when you finally meet someone that you really like.. Now, that is the absolute best medicine... or poison. I have been in love and I LOVE that feeling and almost everything that comes along with it, but the hurt that could follow is not something that is so lovable. I think when you like someone, you have just allowed yourself the opportunity to be hurt, whether you realize it or not, but I realize it. Hmmph. Then, the other part of dating, which is completely my perception, is what people will think. My last relationship was a huge, huge part of my life and the ending of it completely devastated me. As far as all of the feelings that come along with that devastation, that is something only me and my closest best friends know about. "It comes in flashbacks and echoes". ---- The desperation and loneliness you feel after a break-up from a relationship like mine is almost too much to bare; a feeling that I really have a hard time explaining. Whether is has been 2 hours or 2 days, you miss the relationship immediately. Anyway,... I am not dating because I am lonely, or maybe I am and I just don't realize it, but in my head, it is not because I am lonely. I would never date anyone that I did not truly like. That is something that just doesn't set well with me. The facts are: I loved being in love and if you have been there or currently have that, you know how wonderful that is. (Corny or not). Everyone wants to love and be loved. I do worry what people will think of me and my dating like, "It's only been a few months.. I thought she was completely heart broken. How can she date so soon?" <<<That is just my perception. Most people have no idea what I went through and still go through. My head is constantly spinning with thoughts and even though it's been 3 months since the break up, a part of me still feels odd for dating. Almost like it's cheating. Again, something I cannot explain.

I hope you enjoyed my "little" blog about my thoughts and life things. Time to get ready to make that $$$. I hope everyone has a wonderful day :)