Ugh. Too much cauliflower and ranch :/ Onto more serious things that are non-digestive system related.
I just spent a little time going back and skimming over the blogs I have written in the past 4-5 months. Honestly, I slightly blew my own mind. It is pure crazy how things change so much over a period of time. For instance, my blog entry on April 10, 2012 was a pretty simple and normal blog entry. Then, my entry from June 18th, I reveal the news of my big break-up. After that, there are quite a few entries that discuss my own feelings about the break-up, etc. Then, in September, I actually start talking about dating and how I am not really a fan of it, ha ha. Somewhere in October, I'm guessing mid-October, I let go of the past, the what could happens, and the heartache. Emotionally, I feel like I have overcome so much and I know that a lot of people don't care, don't think it's a big deal, or don't understand; but "a lot of people" do not matter. I went from crying my eyes out everyday because my heart hurt so badly I didn't know how to live with it. But, I remember the day I was on the phone with my "Be Fri", Shannon, telling her how I cried because I was feeling truly happy again... without him; I will never forget that day. Even after that, I still had my bad days and I knew it was okay to have bad days, but on the really good days... I embraced them, and that is how I overcame all of it. Not only did I overcome all of it, but I know that I became a better and stronger person. I feel as though I learned so much from the experience.
I don't claim to know everything, but I feel like this brain of mine contains a little more knowledge and yes, I like giving advice sometimes. It may or may not be the right advice or what people always want to hear, but I like giving it. During my break-up and the months to follow, I soaked up all of the advice that people wanted to give me and I don't think I have forgotten any of it. -Never underestimate advice from others-
I have a friend going through a break-up and my heart has hurt for her because there is no quick cure for the broken feeling. I have given plenty of hugs and there have been times I have wanted to shake her to make her understand that she will be okay; but, in reality, the only thing that will mend that broken feeling is time. It lowers your self esteem more than anything and I get that. However, it's frustrating and hurtful when you see one of your best friends feeling as though they are worthless. It makes me so angry to think that someone can take that away from you - they have that power. I just want her to know how much I adore her; She has a wonderful heart and she's beautiful, so naturally, things will work in her favor <3
When I had all of my after break-up feelings. I thought that I was broken - completely. Like, seriously messed up because of it. My ideas of that have changed. I do not think you are ever broken, but instead I think you are lost - totally lost. Eventually, you find your way back, but it's not easy. It was one of the worst obstacle courses I have ever experienced. There have been moments, like now, when I look back on everything and have laughed at how ridiculous my feelings were or how I tried to justify them. I recently ran across a picture of my ex and I didn't have any major feelings about it. So, I had to look again and again thinking that there must be some sort of feelings, but no. Honestly, it floored me. I will always care for him because we went through a lot together, but he is someone who was placed in my life to make me stronger. That was the moment I knew that I had truly moved on. THAT is the best feeling.
I have moved on. I am now in a relationship with my (obviously) boyfriend, Danny. I have cautiously put my trust into him and I think he is absolutely fantastic. Of course it is a new and fresh relationship, which is always fun, and things always change over time; even this is probably a typical thought, but it is all different and absolutely perfect for me :) <3
"Where there is desire there is gonna be a flame. Where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned, but just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die." - Pink (Try)
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