Can we go back. This is the moment.

I'm sitting here thinking about how time flies and oh boy does it. 

This Friday I am going to be 23 and I never pictured my life the way it is now.

 About 5 years ago I was just graduating high school, wrapped up in friends, falling in love, and was going to SIUE in the fall to pursue my degree in Elementary education. I did go to SIUE, but only for a couple of months and ended up back home. Some of it was because I didn't care for the school and I think jumping right into college after graduating wasn't a good decision for me. But, I also know part of it was because I missed my friends back home...and the boyfriend. I don't at all regret my decision of leaving school, but my life would have been totally different had I stayed in. Over the next 4 years after leaving school I was here and there and everywhere trying to make a happy life for my boyfriend and myself - in my head it was really all about us and our happy ending. Whether I was happy or not, I was going to keep trying until I was - I'm that kind of person, I really don't like to give up much. Over those 4 years I did a lot of in-between things like get a couple of dogs who are still my pride and joy :) I lived in another state two days (driving) away from my family - that was a wonderful time in my life, I loved living in Washington. I think I lived in about 5 or 6 different houses, maybe more, trying to find the perfect place while being in the same relationship. It was always like that - jumping around to find my comfort zone. Then, the relationship I was in ended and my life took this turn... this amazing turn. Without a doubt, it was probably one of the most intense feelings that I have yet to feel in my whole (almost) 23 years of life. Except that time I wrecked my bike and knocked myself out - that was a pretty intense feeling. (Had to add some humor in there, right?) Anyway, when the relationship ended it was more than losing a person out of my life. It was all the ideas and dreams I had set for myself - thinking that HE was the only person those dreams and ideas could happen with. That was, hands down, the hardest part to get around. Once I really came to the realization that I was only 22 and that my life wasn't ending... I still had a mass amount of time to fulfill my dreams. You know, the normal girl dreams like getting married and having a kid. Except, marriage isn't something that I ever really wanted. As the months went by after the end of that relationship... different things started happening. I was so focused on the future and never thinking I was going to get where I wanted to be and I was living it. I managed to buy my first car ALL BY MYSELF and that was the first huge accomplishment. Then in October I met a new guy, which was not in my plans because I was enjoying being single and "discovering" myself all over again in a new way. I mean, I had been in a relationship for 4+ years and that's about the only way I knew how to be. I decided to make that new guy (Danny) a better part of my life and within the next few months I found myself at a new job - it was a temp job, but a great job at BCBS. That really had me blown away - I actually cried when I received the phone call that I was hired. See, there again, things were slowly falling into place. I had my own car, a great guy, and a new job... A couple of weeks ago I found out that the job, which was a temp job, will no longer be a temp job for me because I was offered a full-time position with the company. How great is that??!

So, here I am - almost 23 - five years later - and I'm damn near perfectly happy (minus a few glitches in the system). I have a great job, great family, great friends, and I am completely sure that I have found the guy that I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I've been so worried about turning 23, but when I look at it as a whole and all of my accomplishments over just the last year, 23 is great. I'm excited to see what will have changed in the next year. But, for now I'll be living at home with my two doggies and enjoying life in the best way possible.

I really believe in just simply being a good person and trying your best. Putting one foot in front of the other and just going. I've dealt with a lot through out my entire life and really, that's the only remedy. Put one foot in front of the other ... keep going until you are happy. Don't hold yourself back trying to make other people happy because the people that love you and want you happy are going to keep walking beside you - they will be pushing you. **Recognize the love that you deserve.  

<3<3<3